the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
