do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can't put those talents on a resume
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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