I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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