i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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