Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize