He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
