A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
