I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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