Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
