Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
