I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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