We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
