this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
