i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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