would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
