i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
