I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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