Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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