the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize