I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Found your dick twin last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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