then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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