While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
