Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
