life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
