we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She's the barista slut.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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