planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
