We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
