Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
