yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
