I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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