just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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