When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
