thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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