I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize