I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
