so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
