The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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