I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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