no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
