it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
