So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
