New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
