I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize
