she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize