Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
