You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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