If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
