Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize