I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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