The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize