I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
