I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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