suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize