Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize