the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
birth control should be required to get into college
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
