oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
3 2 1 whiskey
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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