Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
cat food counts as protein by the way
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
