did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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