what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
