There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
