it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize