bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
