I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
